The Big Day

Malay weddings usually last about 2 to 3 days. There's the malam berinai (Henna Night). And akad nikah (Solemnization). And then the majlis makan/resepsi (Reception).

Malam berinai is usually where the brides would have professional to draw henna arts on their hands and feet. On that night, families would come over, as well as close friends. Like a gathering. To kick in the merry feels, the wedding feels. 

My henna night was heartwarming though exhausting. Some of the family& friends came over and helped with the last preparations.

Managed to finish my henna past midnight. It was 2am I think. God I was so sleepy. As soon as my henna dried up, I fell straight to sleep on the floor without even getting a shower with my hijab still on my head. Can you imagine how tired I was.

~Dadadada here comes the bride~ 

It's the Day! 

My solemnization and reception are on the same day. We decided to give it a straight go instead of making it two days. It was after Asar prayer. 

All dolled up and ready to marry the man of my life

Achievement unlocked!

I'm finally someone's wife! 

 And to those who came, thankyou so much!

Preparations

Sorry for the long overdue, was too busy settling down life as a wife, daughter in-law, works. I know, there's a lot to tell! But one story at a time. And now let's focus on the beginning first, the preparations for the new phase of my life.
I am literally smilling like an idiot myself while typing these.
So here goes...
It took us 2 months to start all the preparations.
We had been waiting for this day to come since a year ago. But all those while we can't seem to make it a go. There would always be something that stop us from planning. And eventually, we kind of just, let it be.
And until 2 months before the BigDay, he called to say he have something to tell me but it needed to wait until he is back in town. And when he's back, he was like: Baby I've saved enough money, I am all ready. I want you to be my wife. Will you marry me?
I've been dreaming to be his wife since ever but to actually hear him said that it was so dreamy.  Because this time you know that it is not about planning anymore. It is about making it really happen like actually taking real actions, so I said YES! And then there goes all the preparations. We didn't pretty much announce it until later, because maybe somehow we don't want to jinx it. We decided to start a few preparations first before announcing it.
We went surveying the bridal dais ( pelamin ). It was a quick decision and quite cheap. Going for both of our favorite colour, blue. And this is what we had at the wedding day.

And next was the wedding suit & dress. Oh my favourite part! Always dream of trying out those white dresses since I was a little girl. Can't believe I'm finally trying one for real this time! At first we thought of buying the suit and dress. But we search the whole town like up to almost 10stores still there's none that really caught our eyes. Finally we gave up the intention of buying it, took up the idea and recommendation of a friend's to just rent the suit & dress at Anna Bridal. We didn't put on high hopes for this bridal shop. Because we thought it would be just like the rest in town. But we were wrong. it took him only 10minutes to chose his favourite suit. and mine like less than 30minutes to spot my favourite one.

And so he had been going in & out of town every week during all those time, constantly in between works and getting ready for all the preparations. It was really tiring for him. So we came to an agreement for me to be in charge of surveying the doorgifts and invitaion cards. The doorgifts were easy, we had decided earlier to make candies & chocolates our choices of doorgifts. The only thing that makes it hard is that there are too many cute choices for the doorgifts packaging! Too cute I just want it all! But finally we chose this

Found it at a china online shop, taobao, if you're familiar with it. There are so much more cute doorgifts packaging you can find there, and its super cheap! But mind you, it will take about 2-3 weeks time to reach your door step.
Invitation cards. Did all the design, printing all by ourselves.

To prepare all of this was easy. But I clearly remember being so stress during these preparations. Both me and the Mr. But I swear preparing these things were easy, the problem was preparing for the judgements around us. Specially when we decided to make our wedding a simple one. But then we kept reminding each other that we are choosing to be with each other despite anything. So whatever anyone said about the wedding will be pointless because its not them that we're spending our lives with.
Oh and the part where you find the perfect wedding rings are a bit hard. A bit only lah. I don't like gold. Because to me it looks old. And I don't fancy the thought of buying expensive wedding rings. To me, wedding rings are just symbols to prove that you're married. It doesn't define your love to one another. And plus, in your whole lifetime, you might risk at least a chance of losing your wedding ring. Either you miss place it, your kids plays with it, accidentally flush it down the toilet bowl. We never know kan. So why buy expensive one?
So, this is the rings we both chose at the end. It's not expensive, but it's really beautiful.

Okay so what's left? Oh the flower bouquet. That one I have my mother in law picking out the plastic flowers for me and my sister in law arranging it for me.

And the dulang hantaran (dowry tray). Traditionally if the grooms give 5 dowry, the brides must give 7 back. The brides need to give extra 2 more than the grooms. And it's usually in odd numbers. But in my case, I am a revert. So the elders said I don't have to give any dowry if the groom is okay with it. Ofcourse the groom is okay with it hehe. 

So the Mr has 3 dowry for me : praying mat, praying veil and the Quran. 

All of the dowry trays were decorated by my mother in law & sister in law. 

So, bridal dais-dresses-flowers-cards-doorgifts-dowry-rings. And we're all set to the big day! 

Just Married!

Assalamualaikum and Hello readers!
I've been missing again am I?
But this time I promise you I was missing for a good reason, I am married!
Alhamdulillah syukur, like finally right?
Had been busy with all the preparations and stuff.
Imma update soon with all the preparations, solemnisation and dinner and everything!
STAY TUNED lovelies!

My Selfish Confession

I know this might be one of the sensitive issue to talk about, but I just really need to get it off my chest. So here goes nothing...
I was born a Christian. As some of you may know my dad was a free thinker Chinese and my mom is a Filipino Christian.
I developed my interest towards Islam when I was still in my mid teenage years. About 15, 16 years old I guess. I was a curious cat. Asking a lot of questions about the religion. I was in a whole lot of denial and confusion back then.
I remember sometimes I would skipped classes in school just to be in the library. And sometimes on weekend I would bug my dad to bring me to the town's library.  No, I wasn't revising on some upcoming exams. Not at all. I was actually there for my 'research'. Like I said, I had too much questions to ask and not all of my friends were able to answer some of it. And many gave different answers. So I might as well find the answers on my own.
And as I was searching & searching I kinda got interested to it and spend most of my time hanging out with the Muslim friends because I wanted to know more. But nevertheless, I never take any action upon it. I was just assuming that it was all for the sake of gaining knowledge and that I learn to be more open minded knowing more about stuff like this.

And all of this happened before I met him. So for those who despise him for introducing Islam to me, you're wrong. I was introduced to Islam all on my own. And ofcourse with the influence of being in a school of mixed races and religions. And nope he doesn't go to my school. It hurts to know that some of the people I know despise him for making me convert. They don't like the idea of him making me choosing this path.
Yes he is the first Muslim guy I ever really dated. And many said I changed a lot blabla, my life changes blabla since I dated him. And they think that I chose to convert because I really love him. Seriously?
Just to clarify, yes I am really in love with him. But that doesn't affect the choices that I made for my life.
It was never because of the idea of him or loving him or wanting to marry him that made me convert. I converted 2 years ago. And honey 2 years ago I wasn't even sure I would be his wife. And to be honest 2 years ago, both me and him were having a serious crisis in our relationship. It was a 50-50 chances of us to be back together again but yet I choose to revert knowing the fact that during that time, I might possibly not end up to be with him forever.
So it wasn't him, it was never him. It is me. I am the one who got so interested in this religion that I can't help wanting to be a part of it and embracing it for the rest of my life. So instead of blaming him. Blame me.
And please don't give me the whole 'I know you will be back' 'You will return to the right path' 'You sure you aren't regretting this' 'I don't think you find peace in this' kinds of advices. I appreciate the concern but I don't want it.
To be honest its a bit disrespectful sometimes. It would be like me saying 'hey Islam is saint' or 'Islam is great, you're a sinner for not converting' Its exactly almost the same, on a vice and verse term. It sounds awful and disrespectful to the non Muslim right? So stop it.
I am not regretting any of the choices I made. I am happy and at peace. And I will never change my mind, even if you are pointing a gun to me. Never. It took me years to decide to walk on this path, with my dad himself constantly reminding me for 2 years to think it over and over about the decisions I wanted to make just so I won't regret. My dad was guiding me throughout it.
So for those who got misconception of the reason I revert. This is part of my story. And if some of you got offended by it, I am sorry. Because I had been hurting for years of my life keeping all of these on my own, and feeling sorry for him to get misunderstood a lot. I decided to selfishly tell my story and my feelings. Forgive me, if I have ever wronged any of you in anyways.

In remembrance of you

September 4th.
This is the date I'll always remember.
I remember writing a post about you 2 years ago, a month after you left.
And today here I am writing about you all over again.
As a matter of fact, I believe I will never run out of things to write about you. Well, ofcourse never, you had been present in my life for a good 19years. And another 2 years in my heart and forever as long as mine is still beating.
Ever heard of Alter Bridge's In Loving Memory?

I swear everytime this song came up, there is not a single time that I never cry. In fact, I just cried a few seconds ago listening to it again. This song reminds me a lot about you. It's as if this song were made exactly for us.
Yes its been two whole years but sometimes it still hurts. For the reason that I still feel you, your presence, sometimes guiding me. Many said I resemble a lot of you. What not? We basically share the same favorite songs, same favorite movies, same hobbies, same talents.
Even one of the reason behind my Islam name Ayra Daniesya, is the combination of your name and my birth name Daniel + Sherlyn = Daniesya.
I used to be so depending on you. So clingy.  I'd give you a call whenever I met the slightest obstacles. I would tell and share all my problems to you. From frienship to relationship advices to life lessons. And most of the serious conversations took place in the car. We could just sit in the car for hours outside the school, outside a friend's house before I'm off to a sleepover, just talking about everything.
I remember our last talk was a topic about converting. I was dating A'a for 2 years back then. I asked you what do you think about it. You had always been a free thinker. You were so open minded about it. Lucky me. You told me you trust him enough to let him take care of me for the rest of my life. But its me the one you're not quite sure of. You were afraid that I would regret because I used to be the rebellious wild one at heart. But then you mention you would support me despite everything that would happen. But you knew that I would not regret about it because you knew he is a good guy. You told me you like him because you can actually see that he loves me deeply, and that he gave you a first good impression by being a gentleman to asked for your permission to bring me out on a first date. As cliche as it sound, it really happened. I remember getting ready upstairs, he told me he was on his way, and when I came down, he was there at the living room shaking hands with you asking you for a permission. And the look on your face was indescribably proud.
I could never thank you enough for showing so much support in my life. You have done so much.
In spite of the fact that you're gone, you still mean the world to me.
You are forever my guardian angel. You are forever my hero.
You are the best dad one princess could ever have. I love you dad, always.